Rabid monkeys with fancy tools

I went to our glorious General Hospital this morning to visit someone and to my surprise, I wasn’t allowed into the wards by this ogre female guard whose race shall be omitted because I do not want to insult them. *cough*
So anyways, I told her that I just want to pass some things to my friend, and she said no. Actually, her exact words were ‘Tak bole’,’ too lazy to even pronounce her words properly. My eyeballs almost rolled backwards into their sockets. She seemed unable to form full sentences, her words clipped and almost incomprehensible.
Extremely peeved and not about ready to give up, I went to one of those counters they have, and this kind lady whose race I shan’t mention because one bad apple doesn’t mean that the entire basket is fouled - there are a few good apples in there yet, gave me hints. She asked me to buy some food on the pretext of passing it to my friend.
I did exactly that. Still, the troll guard refused to let me in, and the few monkeys helpers sitting at the kononnya guard table didn’t help either by saying ‘Tak boleh, tak boleh punya …’
I walked away. In my head, oh so many beautiful insults and curses were flying about. Note that I do not like to curse people. But this situation called, nay, demanded for it.
I cursed the guard, I hoped that she died a horrible death on her way home, I hoped that she got cancer, I hoped that when SHE was in the ward and SOMEONE wants to visit her because she’s bloody hungry and needs to eat or else she’d die, the guards won’t let whoever it is that’s bringing her food in, and eventually she dies a horrible death. A lot of horrible-death-curses flying around, I’m not proud of that, but the rage was so bad I felt faint. I wanted her to burn, burn bitch burn. No wonder she’s merely a guard. I really hate this kind of thinking - the condescending ‘you’re a lowly worker’ thought, but I honestly couldn’t help myself. The way this barbarian woman conducted herself in her job was intolerable. I HAD to think that revolting thought. Not that it justifies it, I’m not trying to justify my nasty thoughts. Maybe a better person would’ve thought differently, but I’m me and I can have moments of nasty thoughts.
So, I persisted. I called a friend who is an intern at the hospital. Luckily he was available and he helped me send some things to my someone. He also explained to me kindly that the reason for the strict visiting hours is because it’s the time of day when the doctors and nurses make their rounds. Ah .. if that guard had told me that instead of the unintelligeble nonsense that came out of her ulceric mouth, I wouldn’t have been so incensed.
I guess in life, you meet all sorts of strange, rude, uncouth people. What do you do? Don’t give a flying fuck. Don’t let them see your annoyance. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Whilst I waited for intern friend in front of said fucktart guard, I smiled faintly. I smiled as I texted my poor someone imprisoned in the ward. I put on an amused face, as those murderous thoughts piled in my head. I tried my best to look non-chalant.
After all, I truly believe in karma.

I have this skill .. it’s remarkable, I just realized it today during lecture and tutorial. I can look at the lecturer, look like as if I’m paying 101% attention but actualleeee, my mind is in a bullet train whoozing past pine trees and there’s this mysterious man in it who strangely resembles ***** (c’mon, guess who, just for kicks). Actualleee that’s a dream that I really had. But the point is, my mind can be miles and realms away from reality. Pretty cool. It would be cooler when I fail miserably in my exams because I don’t pay attention in class. I should expand on this uber-cool ability. Maybe develop it into psychokinesis. Hoho.
I saw this on some site. This guy, if he had a supernatural ability, would want ‘The ability to make people’s crotches itch at will.’ What a malevolent kreatcher. There are also a few randoms others, like ‘Telekinesis, on a small scale. Just enough to influence roulette wheels and dice,’ ‘Hmmmm, it would be nice if I never had to go to the bathroom again,’ and my personal favourite, ‘The ability to turn beans into peas.’

One of the ultimate sucky things about being in a boring class is having an annoying song stuck in your head. During this extremely boring class a day or two ago, the song ‘Bodyshaking’ by 911 suddenly popped into my brain. Very random. Very annoying. Especially when you know the bloody lyrics to it.
For a good half an hour, the lines ‘You got my body-shakin’, sends a shiver to my soouul’ drummed into my skull. Nothing could stop it - talking to the person next to me didn’t stop it. Not even texting somebody, nothing could stop it until the lecturer said, "That’s it for today." The song magically stopped then.
Oh it was most unpleasant. Believe me. It was most unpleasant.

Got this off a bulletin today:

This is very true, so pay attention

Girl facts:

When you catch a girl glancing at you, she wants you to look back and smile
-Checking you out, duhhh. Everybody does it regardless of gender.

When a girl bumps into your arm while walking with you she wants you to hold her hand
-Assumption is the mother of all fuckups. Don’t blame me when she slaps you for coming on too strong.

When she wants a hug she will just stand there
-Maybe she really needs to pee. Again, read above reply.

When u break a girls heart she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later
-Wahlaneh .. you think what, we’ve got elephant memory meh? And besides, I think it’s the other way around due to males having the bigger ego. I hear guns being loaded.

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind
-Well at least we know she’s thinking.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply
-What an insult. Women can’t have deep arguments, is that it? Just like men think with their penises?

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around
- … ‘coz she ain’t got all day, honey.

When a girl answers, "I’m fine," after a few seconds, she is not at all fine
- She is, because if she wasn’t, she’d talk about it, and talk about it, and have a heart-to-heart, and talk about it somemore till you wished you never asked. You wanna do cliches? We’ll do cliches.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are playing games!!!!!!!!!!!
- Was this written by a delusional maniac?

When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever
- Correction: she’s wishing that your perfectly toned pectorals would last forever.

When a girl says she can’t live without you, she has made up her mind that you are
her future
- Run, boy. Run. It either means A: She really means it, in which you should run because she probably wants to marry you. Don’t run if you want to marry her. Think it over carefully, or B: She doesn’t mean it, in which she’s a player, and you should run. Girl players are wickeder. We often lack principles.

When a girl says, "I miss you," no one in this world can miss you more than that
- What, are we living in Happyland? Jeez.

When a girl is mean to you after a break-up she wants you back, but shes scared she’ll get hurt and knows you’re gone forever
- Can’t she just enjoy being mean? I mean, hey, what if it’s the other way around? And why shouldn’t she be mean if the guy was an asshole? Assholes deserve to be .. to be .. MEANED at! Dude, don’t make it sound like as if every female has got a vendetta!

Guy Facts:

When a guy calls you, he wants to be with you
- He just wants to get in your pants.

When a guy is quiet, he’s listening to you…
- He’s just thinking of how to get in your pants.

When a guy is not arguing, he realizes he’s wrong
- Ohhkay .. guys who actually realize AND admit that they’re wrong are .. almost non-existant.

When a guy says, "I’m fine." after a few minutes he means it
- No, he doesn’t! And he’s probably gonna sulk about it too! Inside, he won’t show it, but he’ll bitch about it to some friend!

When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
- Nah, he just wants some.

When your laying your head on a guy’s chest, he has the world
- … of opportunity.

When a guy calls/texts/comments you everyday, he is in love
- Or too free.

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it
- Who’s to judge who’s good and who’s bad?

When a guy says he can’t live without you, he’s with you til your done
-Till I’m done? Done? Done with what? Cum?

When a guy says, "I miss you," he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
- I doubt he can miss me more than he misses his Playstation.

Not that old. Last December. Here is said perverted old(er) man who hit on me during auntie’s wedding:

*shudder*
On to the next one: Why was Julia drinking orange juice when there was a free flow of wine and whatnots?

Ans: Because she got totally wasted the night before. And what a horrible picture. My lower jaw seems to want to run away from upper jaw.

The next one is the one in which I look like a superstar.

Quick now let me hear a round of FUIYOHS. There’s my entourage with a bouquet carrying complaintative personal assistant.

Less than a week left of holidays, and I’ve only done two out of those ten things on my to-do-list-when-I-get-back. I haven’t gotten Balzac because I haven’t really stepped into Popular Gurney Plaza. Well, I did, but I had to gangway outta there because of bad tummy ache. I did watch some anime, and I watched a movie or two, so it sorta counts a little. But the bottomline is ..

I HAVEN’T EVEN GONE NEAR A SINGLE BAKED CRAB, GODDAMIT.