Rabid monkeys with fancy tools

After seven months of absolute slacking, I’m starting to get depressed at the thought of hitting reality again. Going back to my studies at USM makes me queasy. Honest. O there goes the quease. Queasing.
It’s good to be back, but I’m back to the shit as well. All those problems just gush out like a bad case of diarrhea, everyday just more and more shit. Oh and I hate being so busy too. Takes some getting used to again.
So, I’ll be in my third year. Starting to panic, the idea of delving into the seemingly nasty working world soon, the thought of days of perpetual slacking gone forever (foreveroreverrevereververerr is the echo) and the knowledge that change is inevitable makes me want to curl up into a little ball and try to make myself as small as possible. It’s silly, I know. My goal seems so far away right now, I need to psyche myself up. I need to bloody write! Oh bugger it, I’ll just become an English teacher or something boring like that. The Me of last year would strangle the current Me for  saying that. I re-read my diary from secondary school and Myself from five years ago would suffocate herself if she sees where I am right now.
On a lighter note, Chong is back, so The Sienz is complete again for the time being.
Off I shall go to brave another sleepless night of worrying about the future. But you know what? I’ve got the perfect remedy for that. I just think of someone and all those worries momentarily disappear. That someone is so adorable (gushhhhh), he tells not-very-funny jokes and laughs at them and he checks out girls sometimes which makes me rather jealous (pouts) and he’s got this funny waddle of a walk and he’s got this strange laugh but he’s also so sweet at the same time and so unconventionally funny and oh I just love him to bits.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 26th, 2007 at 11:13 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.