Rabid monkeys with fancy tools

I says we rent a car like he said to go to Loch Ness. After much deliberation he says it sounds good. We depart after lunch on Friday, says he. And sleep in the car, an’ go back on Saturday.
At first the plan seemed fine.
However, something sounded wrong. Terribly wrong. I re-read what he typed. Sleep in car.
Sleep in car.
SLEEP IN CAR ?! SAY WHAT ?!
OMGS
DUDE I DON’T WANT TO BE CRAMPED IN A TINY LITTLE CAR WITH YOU
IT’S UNTHINKABLE. HOW COULD YOU EVEN COME UP WITH IT? DO I LOOK LIKE A TOTAL DUDE TO YOU? I NEED AMENITIES, I NEED THE TOILET, I CAN’T PEE STANDING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, I NEED MY SHOWERS, I NEED TO WASH MY HAIR, I CAN’T BLOODY SLEEP IN THE CAR.
Then he suggested camp sites. Which is fine, except that it might get really cold (it’s Scotland after all) and I seriously don’t want to freeze my ass off. But that’s a triviality. Here’s the bigger problem which he just mentioned like two seconds ago.
He said to me, ‘I hope you can get used to driving manual.’
Enter silence of silences.
Manual? I ain’t driven manual in four years. Last time I did my friend hammered on the hazard lights and asked me to stop by the roadside after a minute or so. I barely even moved a hundred meters.
Good lord. That is gonna be one hella roadtrip if it happens.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 26th, 2007 at 3:44 pm and is filed under Shit.. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.