Rabid monkeys with fancy tools

I tell ya, it’s the funniest shit I saw in ages. We was at Coffee Bean, yeah. And this guy, he just walked straight into the glass door. Didn’t slow down or nothing. Just went WHAM into it. He was walking quite fast, mind you. Jillian (or was it her sister or her cousin) said that the guy shouted ‘OH!’ He left his oil spot on the glass door. But man, was it loud. Like PHOMMM zwang (sound of his rebound).
But DAMN .. there was this silence after his mishap. Total absolute frickin’ perfect silence. Then .. like a grating saw .. sniggers ERUPTED everywhere. Goddam I’m still laughing as I write this.
Hot damn .. I feel sorry for the fella. I mean, there he is, just made the boo boo of the century, and here and there hot chicks (like myself) are laughing at him. If I were him I would’ve just sat there and laughed my balls off. If that was me, it wouldn’t have been an OH you’d hear, but the loudest ‘FUCKSHITPISSCUNTCRAP’ you ever heard.
Which reminds me of a joke. This guy, Abdullah, is in the market. And thinking that no one would hear, he let rip a fart. Turned out to be the loudest goddam fart in history. Killed a donkey and made a camel deaf. So to escape the embarrasment, he left the town. After many years of living as a hermit, he decided to pay his hometown a visit. He thought that, you know, after so many years, people would’ve forgotten about it. As he entered the town, he saw that so much had changed. Houses were torn down, new buildings erected, etc etc. He couldn’t find anyone he knew before. ‘Good sign,’ thought he. Meant that all those who knew about the incident weren’t around anymore. So happily, he walked to the market, tapped a guy on the shoulder and asked, ‘Hullo sir! May I ask, what is the date today?’
To which the guy replied, ‘It is the sixth day of the fifth month of the sixteenth year since Abdullah farted the great one.’
Come on. Laugh, damn you. It’s funny.

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