Rabid monkeys with fancy tools

I managed to give myself a lot of wind and diarrhea. And I do mean a lot of wind. One pint of milk + half a can of baked beans = one hella upset tummy. Didn’t feel too good for quite a while. Tummy made airplane sounds, like grooooob groooooob grooooob.
The instant mash potatoes taste horrible. Absolutely detestable. They should be hanged for making such deplorable food. Strawberries and double cream, with extra fat. Ooooh … Strawberries with melted chocolate .. hmm .. haven’t tried that yet. Strawberries with miso soup paste. Christ, there should be two toilets in this house for emergencies.
Looks around. What is there to do. Family Guy or Portrait of a Lady. Maybe I should take a walk. Kick some dandelions. Meet Daniel Radcliffe (or an impersonator. I wouldn’t mind a Daniel Radcliffe impersonator). Maybe I should wait till the upset tummy has subsided. Wouldn’t want to crap in my pants like last time.

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