I had a dream about him again. I haven’t dreamt of him in such a long time. Matter of fact, haven’t thought of him in quite some time too. Strange. Didn’t want to wake up from that dream. It was a good one - he was being nice and I was behaving well. Dreams are significant. Wonder if I’m going to see him again. Maybe bump into him. Wonder if he remembers who I am.
Holy cow, it rained ice this morning. A first for me. Very scary. Pity that MR2 across the road. It was out in the open and got pelted on by ice the size of Solero shots.
I managed to give myself a lot of wind and diarrhea. And I do mean a lot of wind. One pint of milk + half a can of baked beans = one hella upset tummy. Didn’t feel too good for quite a while. Tummy made airplane sounds, like grooooob groooooob grooooob.
The instant mash potatoes taste horrible. Absolutely detestable. They should be hanged for making such deplorable food. Strawberries and double cream, with extra fat. Ooooh … Strawberries with melted chocolate .. hmm .. haven’t tried that yet. Strawberries with miso soup paste. Christ, there should be two toilets in this house for emergencies.
Looks around. What is there to do. Family Guy or Portrait of a Lady. Maybe I should take a walk. Kick some dandelions. Meet Daniel Radcliffe (or an impersonator. I wouldn’t mind a Daniel Radcliffe impersonator). Maybe I should wait till the upset tummy has subsided. Wouldn’t want to crap in my pants like last time.
England. Dreary. Drab. Colourless. Even red looks grey here. I would post pics if I bothered to but I’m not. It’s too cumbersome to get my ass out of the house to look at grey skies. Maybe later. Huge dandelions. Oh flowers in bloom. Bloody windy. Bloody rain. Waiting for that trip to Stonehenge to look at a bunch of standing rocks as a thrill. But I rather like it here. Prim and proper. Please and Thank yous everywhere. Haven’t met nasty people yet and don’t wish to.
Everything reminds me of something. Buses, parks, mall, mail boxes. Like there was a void in time between the last time I was here and now. A year’s worth of voidness. Everything’s basically the same. Nothing changed except people. Esprit is still where Esprit is. Mini Tesco’s still standing. I walk alone now. Naturally.
Mungkin Nanti
Sahajaku berkata
Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua
Ku yakin inilah waktunya
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi
Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba
Tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini
Dan bila hatimu termenung
Bangun dari mimpi-mimpimu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu
Cerita saat bersamaku
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi
Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi
Simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal yang kau cari
Semua rasa yang kau beri
- Credit to Fifi for sending me the lyrics. I am terribly in love with this song. Download it, kill for it if you have not heard it yet.
Song: The Freshman, Verve
Mood: mild, like
Book: The Dark Half, Stephen King
Just some thoughts. I think I’m quite happy with my life at this very second. I hardly ever feel so contented. It’s a nice sort of feeling. Yeah.
I’ve resolved some issues with my mom, kind of resolved the issues between my mom and dad, resolved my own issues (there’s still some more, but who’s counting?) .. I’ve more or less settled this freedom thing, i think. Studies are .. what studies? I love my course. Honest.
I’ve got great bits of family, a sister with lots of OCDs but I still think she’s a nice person all in all .. Friends are a pain in the ass (well, some of them anyway) but they’re so adorable I can tie them up and keep them under my bed for all time. Everything’s pink and rosy right now (I’ll sledgehammer the person who breaks my bubble, I swear).
And you. You reading this. You know who you are. You’re a weirdo but you’re so handsome I’ll ignore the weirdness .. *winks*
This was written a while back. I quite like it.
Strange,
my heart leapt at the sight of you.
A burning desire to hold you once more
arose from me.
Memories -
they came cruising by, uninvited.
(These memories they made me smile)
But I shy away from you,
eyes averted, statue lips.
Lost in thoughts
of what could have been.
