Rabid monkeys with fancy tools

I have been accused by this old daft dingbat of copying my sister blogwise. Well, there has to be some similiarities between me and her at one point or another. There are more similiarities than I’d like to admit, except that I’ve got bigger eyes and defined double eyelids. Her friends when they see me say ‘Gee I thought it was Jo I saw’ and you know, they always call me ‘Jo’s sister’. ‘Hello Jo’s sister,’ when they bloody well know my name is Julia. I’m exaggerating but you get my point. I guess it comes with being the younger one. At one time we used to really hate each other with much passion but we got over it (I hope. If you’re reading this, cha, don’t poke my forehead with your index finger when you get back) although she can still be a real pain in the ass and living with her for too long a time can be like somebody prying your eyelids open and not leting you blink. But she can be really nice when she’s feeling benevolent. Gifts, sacrificial lamb. Yeah, it’s a love-hate sort of thing, which I guess most siblings share.

I really do not get what dancing is all about. People dance to .. get sexed up? To show off that they are so very sexy and cool and hip? To actually have fun? To attract members of the opposite sex? How does one do that when they behave more like .. I don’t know .. Space monkeys meet Ewoks. When you go to a club, notice that everybody dances facing the bar, for some reason or another. Mystifying, humans are. Also, the women there who ’shake their booty (what kind of a term is that anyway?)’ like Beyonce or whatever look like they’re suffering, like an anus probe is being shoved up their arses. They grimace and they pout and they look like they’re gonna cry.  Most men pretty much have two left feet. Ach, throw in two left arms as well. Notice what they do with their hands (flapping action, wanking action, mimes and etc.) .. The dance, oh, the dance. Want to have a good laugh? Go to a club.

Clubbing. I used to be hankering to go. I would still go, today. If you go to a club and see a girl sitting in a corner laughing by herself, that might just be me.

This is so sad. I’ve developed an obsession for Daniel Radcliffe and everything post-pubescent. Just the thought of him gives me a tingle and my tummy churns. Boys.. it’s like getting a puppy. They’re all so innocent I can’t wait to get my grimy fingers on them. You get to teach them new tricks (nudge nudge wink wink) and when they get older, well, they’ll be seasoned meat, like. I blame this new obsession on Daniel. If he hadn’t exposed his very lovely very porcelain-like pink blushing cheeks in GOF he would not have ignited this infatuation. Also the other boys in the movie. The guy who played Longbottom. I bet he’s a really naughty boy in real life despite his daft disposition. He needs a spanking and more. And the twinsies. Double the pleasure! Cedric sends me to heaven everytime he appears on screen. And Won-won. They say redheads have three times the sex drive compared to others. Hubba hubba.