Rabid monkeys with fancy tools

Whoa my blog is dusty. Poooooof dust begone! Anyways, as the last day of 2007, it feels apt that I take this survey (I’ve got nuffink else better to do anyhow) …

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Rule 1:
If you opened this you GOTTA take it.

Rule 2:
You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks

Rule 3:
Only answer truthfully

"Who was your last?"

LAST PERSON.
1.Had a drink with?
Alcoholic : the gang
Non alcoholic : the gang

2.Went to the movies with?
Larry. National Treasure 2 is fun!

3.Went to the mall with?
Larry ..

4.Talked on the phone with?
Larry ….

5.Made you laugh?
Larry ……

6.You hugged?
zomg

7.You yelled at?
Wayne I think. Heh heh.

WOULD YOU RATHER…?
1.Pierce your nose or tongue?
Tongue, but I wouldn’t because IT”D PHUCKIN’ HURT

2.Be serious or be funny?
Funny.

3.Whole milk or skim milk?
Whole, baby!

4.Die in a fire or get shot?
I really don’t wanna burn.

5.Sun or moon?
Moonsies. Can’t stare at the sun. It’d blind me.

6.Winter or Fall
Fall, I don’t wanna freeeeeze.

7.Left or right?
Left.

8.Sunny or rainy?
Sunny.

9.Peach or Pear?
Pear. This survey isn’t very fun.

10.Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Who, above the age of 5, cuts their spaghetti?

11.Do you cook?
Very rarely …

12.Current mood?
Bored as a chewing gum.

IN THE LAST WEEK HAVE YOU…
1.Sang?
Yup

2.Been hugged?
Yup

3.Danced Crazy?
Um … no ..

5.Cried?
Nope.

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No.4’s missing by the way, o creater of this survey.

Anyhoolaballooo, have a great new year’s, all the best for 2008, may you get laid…! (sorry couldn’t help it, it rhymed)

What a year it has been!

New Year’s Resolution slash Wish: May I go for class ‘religiously’ and may my assets grow.

For the past week and a half since she arrived in Korea, Julia has been …….

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DIURNAL

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ZOMG. She’s back at the guest house by 10pm at the latest. Wooooooot!

I need Fucking Comfortable Shoes (FCS) because walking around in Fucking Lousy Shoes (FLS) is No Fun (NF). Also, because of all that spicy food, I need to be nearby a toilet for safety. Luckily there are toilets everywhere in Seoul. Sometimes just duck into Dunkin’ Doughnuts for the toilet.

=D

Here is an entry from the personal diary of Julia Tan dated 1st January 2002 at 1.55am, which was a Tuesday.

Dear Diary,

1st day of the new year. Stayed at home and went online. Din even go out to watch fireworks. Just you wait. Next year. I shall go next year. Managed to record cd-writer. Happy ’bout that.
New Year’s Resolution: Stay away from guys (Julia ‘07: We all know I failed to do that)
New Year’s wish: Master Japanese, Love (Julia ‘07: Failed to do both too)
Kinda difficult, right? We’ll see what this year brings. I hope that the **** (Club name ommited) will stay this close. I doubt it. The better the thing is, the lesser it will stay. C- is going back to KL. N- will start college. V- and D- will have F6. And I, I’ve got school.
One thing’s for sure. I won’t stay in Penang. KL, I don’t care. I wanna go alone. We’ll see if the year changes my mind. I pray it won’t. KL’s always been my choice. Then maybe off to Aus if I take accounts (Julia ‘07: ME? ACCOUNTS? WHAT THE FECK WAS I THINKING?). Well, ’nuff said of studies. Saw full moon today ……. *mundane business about stars and fireworks*

But anyways, the conclusion is … I realised that I’ve always been a bit of a loner. Maybe ‘a bit’ is an understatement. New Year’s eve alone? How Bridget Jones could it get? But you know, having fun depends entirely on the person. Right now, I wouldn’t mind celebrating New Year’s with close friends and family. Brave the jams and assholes throwing firecrackers everywhere? No fanks. Fun is a fundamentally personal opinion, and I believe, even though I didn’t know it at that time, that I had fun staying in, although I was probably the only person in the neighbourhood who was online staring at an ICQ list that was devoid of online contacts. Being alone is not as sad as it seems, because it’s how you handle being alone and, well, there’s always mum when you’re really bored and feeling rather anti-social.

I’ve changed my mind about a few things, like going to KL immediately after F5. Good god, me? Accounts? God forbid! I don’t think I realised how mundane and absolutely boring accounts is (no offence to accountants and accountant wannabes), not to mention hellishly difficult.

I don’t keep in contact with those people mentioned in the entry anymore, although I see them from time to time. It was fun, and would’ve been more fun if I had been less childish and petty. But we learn, don’t we? I hope so.

I wish I could go back there and do a few things differently. However, I wouldn’t change that New Year for anything. I remember sitting down, hearing fireworks go off in the distance, wishing that I was there with someone. I’d go back and tell myself, ‘It’s really not that bad, kiddo.’

It’s funny how when you’re in love, it doesn’t seem like you need anything else in the world. It could be just a car ride, or watching tv, or having dinner or just listening to him breathe. Everything fades away. Well .. almost everything. But the significant thing is how close to perfection it is. A beautiful night, a (corny) love song playing, ah .. how I wish I could live in that moment forever. The imperfections were there, but … who really cares? He was next to me, that was all that mattered. Matters.

To humour someone, I decided to take this test. I should be studying for an exam instead. Hmph.

How accurate is this test? I don’t know, but I quite fancy the idea of being a pussycat. Heh.

You Would Be a Pet Cat

Independent and aloof, you don’t like to be dependent on anyone. And as for other people, you can take them or leave them. You often don’t care. You live your life by your own rules. And you have deep motivations that no one truly understands. Why you would make a great pet: You’re not needy or greedy… unlike other four legged friends. Why you would make a bad pet: You’re not exactly running down to greet people at the door What you would love about being a cat: Agility and freedom What you would hate about being a cat: Being treated like a dog by clueless humans http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofpetwouldyoubequiz/

You want to ban superbikes from expressways ah? Eh I got better idea for you lah. More lucrative. Ban all those Mat Rempit motors from the roads - period. Reduce snatch thefts and illegal racing mah. Which wan more dangerous leh, I ask you. A few speeding superbikes or thousands of little bikes zooping about, being a menace to other road users and commiting crimes? Dey, really lah, more lucrative this wan. Hell riders, I teww you which wan the hell riders lah. These Mat Rempits and snatch thieves, they actually kill people you know. Walaueh, just because a few superbikes went faster than your car, don’t lah so angry. Next time get a Ferrari and race back with them lah!

I’ve changed my viewpoint about foreign intervention in the situation in Burma.

What the Burmese should do is to go on a very long nationwide strike - just drop everything and not do anything. Without people to plough the fields, who is going to put rice on the general’s table? Feed themselves, starve the junta. Be ready for the violence. It’s really easy to say, and I must stress that it’s as easy as that to say, but if you think about it, that if nobody works for the government, who is going to work things? It’s a forcible and far-fetched method, but it’s peaceful enough from the part of the people. After all, when you kill everyone, who is going to work for you? But again, it’s really easy to say. If I were in that situation and if somebody asked me to get killed to stand up against injustice when I could just keep mum and live under harsh circumstances but still be alive, I don’t know what I’d do.
What Burma needs to think about is what they really want, and what they really do not want is another Vietnam or Iraq. At the rate they’re going, they’re just inviting power-hungry nations to intervene - like setting up the dinner table, putting on the stuffed turkey and handing the country a fork and a knife.

No napkin though - they never clean up anyhow.

When Steve Irwin died, we had those RIP messages flying all over MSN, and we had people putting a tortoise in front of their display names. I don’t get it. Is the accidental death of a wildlife preservationist more important than the sad death of an 8-year old girl who suffered so much before she finally went to a better place? Shouldn’t we be more concerned about this incident? There’s so much talk about the ‘online community,’ but it seems that this community consists of sycophants and sheep.
The death of Irwin did not affect me at all. He was doing his job, end of story. How did it affect you? Did you religiously follow his series? How about the girl who was walking to the pasar malam, got nabbed and had a cucumber and brinjal stuffed up her private parts? This was not as important, to all of you who put a tortoise, to even mention it? Maybe it didn’t cross your mind. I guess that stuffing foreign objects up children is something normal, while getting killed in the line of work isn’t. Don’t say that there isn’t an emoticon for it. I don’t see how a turtle can relate to the crocodile hunter, and yet it came into being. I remember damn near almost half of my contact list had that turtle thing, all of them Malaysians.
I think that it’s really shallow of them, but it’s just my two cents.

Interview with a local USMA lecturer.

Hana: So, Dr, tell me about the way you conduct classes.

Dr. Sally: Oh I just love taking attendance. I love rules because they’re meant to be followed. In other words, my students will be brought up as mindless sheep, even though at their age they should be exploring ideas and learning to be independant. We have a large percentage sheep, and we also have those radical Muslim extremists or left-wing Chinese communists. That’s what rules are for, to clear the world of these rebels! We fail to realize that they’d just take their rebellion elsewhere, but who cares? I love rules!

(Dr. Sally gives a beaming, semi-idiotic smile)

Hana: Could you please explain about attendance taking?

Dr. Sally: Well, the more experienced and professional lecturers don’t do it, but we, the ones who graduated from some unheard-of American hick university, think we are smarterer than all of them. Therefore, we take attendance to make sure that the students, who would’ve avoided our classes because it’s barbarically boring, are forced to come to class. We don’t have to bother making our classes interesting, because they’ve gotta come anyhow!

(Dr. Sally cackles a hen-like laugh)

Hana: How do you take attendance? I mean, if it’s a class of 500 students …

Dr. Sally: Oh, I usually pass an attendance sheet around. Sometimes the class is so huge, students don’t get a chance to sign up because the shit don’t reach them in time. During tutorials, I call up their names, because in tutorials, it’s small enough - we have several slots for up to only 30 students. So I’d call up their names like they were primary school students. Who cares that some students are in their 30’s? If my mentality is that of a primary school student, I demand that my students have the same mentality as well.

Hana: But what of when your students step into the working world?

Dr. Sally: I probably contribute to the fact that most of our graduates can’t find jobs. I mean, although I teach X subject, my knowledge in that particular subject is poorer than some of my students. So if I already feed them garbage knowledge, might as well train them to become childish apes as well-lah.

Hana: What would you propose to raise our university level?

Dr. Sally: Bar students from taking the final exam if they are absent for more than one time. That way, attendance taking would be more fun. Oh gosh I’m wetting myself just by the very thought of it. Pass me a tisu, please.

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Disclaimer: Any similiarities to living or dead persons is totally unintentional. This is just a humourous satire to be taken with a pinch of salt You Pieces of Emo Admin. Shit